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Saturday, April 18th, 2009
8:13 am
I had a couple of short story ideas last week that I was telling Kathy about. One of them she thought was mildly interesting and the other she said, "Oh my GOD you have to write that." I've been unmotivated to write anything since not getting my book published because, really, what's the point in writing something good if nobody's gonna read it? So we made a deal. If I wrote it, she'd submit it to literary magazines.

It's just about finished now, maybe one more small edit away from its final draft. She's helped a lot with editing, getting me past my Tech Report Writing induced brainwashing that says tense has to always be consistent, even at the expense of flow, something I now realize to be grammarian horseshit. She's picked out three magazines, so fingers crossed.

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7:54 am - Adam Smith's invisible middle finger
My MLB Extra Innings package has started. It sucks omni-cock in so many ways it isn't funny. It's glitchy and goes black during games (sometimes for hours, and sometimes at the very end of the 3 hour game you'd been watching so you don't know how it turned out), they don't broadcast pre- or post-game stuff, they don't show most of the Cubs games which fall on Saturday and Sunday, and they actually have the BALLS to be airing a commercial that says, "Get MLB Extra Innings now! You don't want to miss that no-hitter!" when in point of fact I had MLB Extra Innings last year and missed Carlos Zambrano's no-hitter because it was a Saturday game they didn't broadcast. As a fun little encore, they then didn't broadcast Ted Lilly's game the next day, a one hitter, which set a MLB record for fewest number of hits in back to back games.

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Wednesday, April 8th, 2009
10:08 am - Me and Julio down in the ER
I had another attack on Sunday where my chest felt restricted, I found it hard to breathe or talk, I broke out in cold sweats, and my hands and feet got cold. I was worried enough that Kathy convinced me to go to the emergency room, no longer able to fool myself the other two episodes from Friday night were just a food allergy.
Twenty hours in the hospital...Collapse )

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Saturday, April 4th, 2009
12:46 am
I've had some chest pains tonight and that's no fun. It's probably just from eating these oily jumbo green olives stuffed with feta cheese that Kathy got. But it doesn't feel like any heartburn I've ever had. It's super constrictive, and hurts to the point that I've broken out in cold sweats, and chewed four aspirin each of the two times it's happened. I have a series of blood tests scheduled for the 13th (called the "well man exam" by the doctor's office, but I'm not nearly gay enough to refer to it as that), so hopefully that will tell me if my cholesterol and everything's fine. If on the off chance it isn't, and I should die tonight, I want it stated for the record that I never liked you people. I think it's the way you chew.

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Friday, March 27th, 2009
2:40 pm - I must have this.
Just saw this on threadless. It will be mine.

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Tuesday, March 24th, 2009
7:34 pm
I've lost 125 pounds. This is awesomeness. When I've lost 150 or so, I'm going to reward myself with Lasik on my left eye so that it no longer sees the world as if viewed through pudding.

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Monday, March 23rd, 2009
7:52 pm - RIP Babe. I love you.
Babe passed away on New Year's Eve. She had a seizure and we rushed her to the emergency vet and the doctor reported her blood pressure was through the roof. Apparently, despite the 6 months we'd been bringing her in and the couple three thousand dollars we'd spent to keep her renal failure at bay, our vet never once checked her blood pressure. :\ Not even after she developed a heart murmor she'd never had, which I later found out, to a vet, is the equivalent of a large neon sign flashing, "CHECK THE GODDAMN BLOOD PRESSURE, YOU INCOMPETENT MORON!" Her retinas detached because of it the day before and she spent the last day of her life blind and confused. The emergency vet assured us they could get her blood pressure down with a 24-hour aggressive treatment. Three hours later we were woken up (having not slept all night being at the emergency vet) by a call saying babe had had her second seizure and had brain damage and could we give them the do not resuscitate order. We rushed down there and I cuddled with babe. Her left arm was involuntarily spasming but I think she knew I was there because she nuzzled into my arm. They said I could take as long as I wanted, but I didn't want her to be subjected to another seizure, so they put her to sleep with me holding her and looking at her pretty face. She had a nice funeral, with Kathy and me, my mom and my sis there. We buried her laying on the blanket she liked to sleep on near the window, and put some of her favorite toys, some flowers, and some pictures with her in the box.

I called up the vet and bitched them out good, finally getting them to change their policy to one that always offers blood pressure tests to the owners of animals in renal failure. Took them two months and me reminding them twice before they finally sent me the meeting notes and log documenting the change, but finally I got it.

Here's a page from the cat scrapbook my mom made me, showing a group of pictures of babe from back when we'd just taken her in back in '91. Quite the acrobat. The second pic is of our new kitty, Nelda, who we saved from the hell of being chased around the apartment complex for a week by a group of 5 or 6 cats who were trying to rape her. She was such a tiny little thing being constantly chased by these huge males that it broke my resolve to not have another pet, despite so desperately not wanting to undergo the heart-breaking masochism that having an animal that dies in 15 to 20 years puts you through. Nelda looks a lot like Baby, as you can tell.

RIP Babe. I love you.

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Sunday, July 27th, 2008
7:31 pm - Eamus catuli eamus
I meant to post this awhile ago. It's the cake my sister made me for my birthday.


For those who don't know, it's Wrigley Field's outfield wall. (Where the Cubs play.) For those who want a slice, half of it's still in the freezer since I couldn't bring myself to eat the 368. :)

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7:22 pm - Under the pillow
I had terrible tooth pain last week for like 5 days, and finally I went to the dentist. He tried to save the tooth by filling the cavity despite it being pretty deep, but it continued to hurt like hell. I had it pulled on Tuesday. I've now lost 2 wisdom teeth and 3 non-wisdom teeth on the top. (I still have all the teeth on the bottom so that's something at least.)

My sister lost something like 9 permanent teeth by the age of 13. We get it from our dad. He lost all his teeth and was wearing dentures by the age of 24. It's some disorder where the enamel wears away, exposing the teeth to decay. Thanks for passing on the Gummy McCracken genes, pop.

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7:16 pm - :) :) :)
Baby's doing better. Her kidney values are coming down. I can't remember the name of the chemical, but it was at 12, then 2 weeks later at 8, then 3 weeks later at 6.9. Normal range is like 1.4 - 3.2, so she's lost some kidney function, but the worry was she wasn't going to get ANY function back and she has, which is great.

The infection is gone, so she's done with antibiotics, but we're still giving her fluids, but now once every 2 days instead of once every day. We'll probably be doing this for the rest of her life, which will now hopefully be measured in years, thanks to her kidney values coming down. We go back to the vet a week from Monday, so hopefully it's more good news.

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Wednesday, June 18th, 2008
11:02 pm - :( :( :(
Baby, our 18yo kitty is sick. She has a bladder infection and it looks like she's going into kidney failure. We're administering subcutaneous fluids once a day and antibiotics twice a day, and are going back to the vet in 2 weeks. They'll recheck her blood then and we'll know whether she's starting to bounce back or if it's unlikely she's going to pull through. Sweetest kitty you've ever met. My heart's breaking. I don't think I'm ever getting another pet again. It's like if your children only lived 15 to 20 years, while you live 75. How masochistic do you have to be to put yourself through that.

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Friday, May 16th, 2008
11:46 pm
One of my New Year's Resolutions this year was to meditate twice a day for 20 minutes. I've kept it up, but now I take weekends off. I think that helps ward off the frustration of not being able to do something that seems so simple: keeping my attention on my breath.

Honestly, it's scary how much thoughts invade. You realize really quickly that you can't control them. I can't go five seconds without being distracted, let alone 20 minutes. The main thing is once you notice your attention's gone off the breath, to keep bringing it back, bringing it back, bringing it back. But it would be nice if I could adopt an outlook or emotional state that would stop the thoughts from arising in the first place. To that end, I try to tell myself things like, "Everything is as it should be," but so far I haven't had a lot of luck; thoughts keep arising. (That's right, I just dropped a semicolon on your ass.)

I'm gonna stick with it though. Even with the difficulty (which is natural from what I've read), I've noticed some positive changes. Maybe a little less reactive, my temper's less likely to flare up, a little less anxious. Don't think I'm getting soft though, lest you force me to go all ghetto semicolon again.

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Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
7:48 pm
I had an intraweb friend stop by over the weekend as he was flying into Phoenix to drive up to Sedona. Kathy and I took him to Garcia's, home of the f01n3st fried ice cream I've ever had. Then we hit Castles and Coasters, an arcade/miniature golf course/amusement park/fish hatchery and partook in meeting and shooting all sorts of varied and resplendent video animals. First it was dinosaurs, then bighorn sheep, then elk. Then we had a bit too much to drink and headed out to the hatchery. We didn't have any rifles or shotguns (surprisingly, since I was a boyscout), so we took to beating them all to death with miniature golf clubs. (I was blue, he was green, Kathy was crying.)

Okay, that last part isn't true (Kathy was really purple), but the rest was and we had a good time.

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Friday, March 14th, 2008
11:05 pm
A couple of times I found Puffy, our younger spazzy cat, dangling from the second shelf of our cupboard, little feet kicking away at the air trying to get traction. She was right above the crock pot one time. If she'd have come down on it, she could've broken her back. So, it's come to this. Child safety locks.

For our cat.

But at least I think I can now officially say the unpacking is done. (Or the packing is undone?) Besides needing to install the child safety locks

for our cat

I also have a box of papers to shred, and that's it.

We plan to celebrate by letting the place go to hell.

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Thursday, March 13th, 2008
7:17 am
Things are better. I got past it. She's promised it won't happen again, and I believe her.

Just about done unpacking. I'm doing most of it on my own, which is a pain, but I work so much faster than her it was inevitable I guess.

We both really dig the new place. There's a single mom and her two kids upstairs that tromp a lot, but Kathy says they're nice enough so we can forgive them. "Kathy says," because I haven't met them yet. When I finally do, my mental picture of them is bound to fade, since chances are slim that their feet really are bedecked with size 18 honey hams.

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Wednesday, March 5th, 2008
9:03 pm
Still feeling a bit down today. My ego's bruised and I'm having a hard time getting past this. Kathy had flowers waiting for me when I woke up which was nice of her. I'm hoping time will fix things.

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Tuesday, March 4th, 2008
4:26 am
I'm a bit down. Kathy revealed to me that she's had a crush on somebody at work for about 3 weeks now. He's basically a flirt and has given her attention and *grumble* 4 or 5 backrubs. She liked the attention so didn't tell me about it. It went on 3 weeks or so until his flirting compass pointed elsewhere and then suddenly Kathy tells me, once he's not an option, it seems to me. Read more...Collapse )

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Wednesday, January 16th, 2008
9:12 pm - Related madness from the lead that's in the sealing wax
I got us a big screen relatively cheaply. I've named it Betty. I love Betty. Been playing my Playstation 2 I got for Xmas on Betty. Nothing like having a Katamari as big as a beachball bouncing around in front of you. Between Betty and our pinball machine (Hector), it's a good thing we're moving into a bigger place here soon. We're gonna shoot for a 2-bedroom, but my thinking is I'd rather have a 1-bedroom in a good neighborhood than a 2-bedroom in a bad one.

I've been trying to meditate twice a day. I'm still not sure what the hell I'm supposed to be doing/not doing, so I've tried various methods -- concentrating on my breath, concentrating on a candle flame, concentrating on an external object, being present in my surroundings, unflexing my mind, labeling my thoughts as mind's judgment (good, bad) or will's desire (want, don't want). I haven't noticed any change, but I'm going to try to do it through the year and reevaluate then. If it doesn't work, I'm no worse off, since Akhbar knows (Akhbar's my food processor) not meditating hasn't slowed my mind down or allowed me a different way to live.

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Sunday, December 2nd, 2007
9:15 am - Chuck Palahniuk
Kathy just read me Chuck Palahniuk's Haunted. It's a series of connected short stories. Fun read, just like Fight Club. I especially liked Guts, which is the story that made no less than 75 people pass out around the country as he read it on the book tour. I've known about the infamous story for awhile now, since watching the Palahniuk writing conference dvd "Postcards from the Future" last year. But this is the first time I'd read it. Well, sort of. I mean, Kathy did all the reading.

That's one of my favorite things we do together. She loves to read out loud (I think it's the 10+ years of radio DJ coming out), and I get to just sit back and close my eyes and visualize the story as it unfolds. We read Cory Doctorow's book Someone Comes to Town, Someone Leaves Town the same way. Up next, she wants us to read Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land, but we'll see if she still does when she finds out Palahniuk has a new book, Rant: The Oral History of Buster Casey. I just put it on hold at the library. I don't think she knows it exists.

You can read Guts here if you want. Also, there's some videos of Chuck reading it over on youtube. You've been warned. :)

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Friday, November 30th, 2007
5:45 pm
Things are good. We're looking to move into a bigger place in January/February, so that should be nice. I'm trying to save money for it, but Xmas spending is bankrupting me yet again. Despite our family agreeing to keep spending down this year, when all's said and done, it's going to be about $650 I spent. Crazy. There was a large item gift in there that put it through the roof. What that item is, I can't say since the person may read this before Xmas. I'll give you a hint though: piesicle.

That's actually not a hint. Just my relentless lobbying for some corporate magnate to create said sweet treat. Only then will the killing stop. Only then will peace begin.

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